Mushrooms, Blue Hair, and Hooters

Something special today for my diehard fans (haha). 

---First: Probably not natural hair colors...on old ladies?!---
Old Japanese ladies (50+?) dye their hair the most ridiculous colors.  This one was in a convenience store...had to sneak the photo. 

Yes, her hair was actually that blue. 
Oh, in the foreground is white coffee - what I was pretending to take a pic of.  Quite delicious.  Also popular are BRIGHT purple, lavender, and maroon!!  I will try to get more photos...these old ladies usually pop up at random and are gone by the time I get out the camera. 

---Second, MUSHROOMS!  (This one's for you, Jasper!) --------
 I have no idea what these are.  Grocery stores carry at least 7 distinct varieties of mushroom.  You're not really supposed to take pictures in stores for some reason, so these were ninja shots.  I tried the white, phallic one (#1) in a stirfry and it was quite delicious.

Anonymous Mushroom #1:

Anonymous Mushroom #2:

 Anonymous Mushroom #3:

Anonymous Mushroom #4:



---Finally: Hooters! ---------

The reason you're still reading this blog...amirite?

Went to the Asakasa Hooters (Tokyo) for a double birthday.  The girls do a silly dance, jump around, and deliver you cake.  Coincidentally, every table in the house had at least one birthday.  ;)

Me and the Japanese hooters.

 Ko, one of the b-day boys, joins the YMCA dance.

 MMmmmm marichino cherry cake.

 Programmed by an Idaho Refugee.  Wait - what?

 This made Ko's night.

On boys

Me: "So there's this one guy who has a crush on me, that won't take a hint.  I'm not into the whole different zipcodes thing."
Sat (roommate): "Usually being married is a pretty big hint."
Me: "Yeah I already told him that.  He won't give it a rest."
Sat: "Tell him you're gay."
Me: "..."
Sat: "Oh wait, you're married...so I guess that wouldn't work.  Tell him he's gay."
Me: "So, he's gay, he just don't know it yet?"
Sat: "And if that doesn't work, at least he'll think you're a fruitloop."

Awesome.

Being sick in a foreign country sucks

I would tell you I caught a cold but then I would sound like a weakling, so let's call it Plague.  I have had full blown Plague for about 4+ days now.  Normally I would just dayquil it to oblivion but ... well ...I can't find any.  On top of that, the mosquitos have discovered fresh meat - me.  My legs are covered in angry mosquito welts.  I am SO allergic...they swell up to about half-dollar size for a week or more...and the itching is agonizing...it actually behooves me to cut the skin open than to leave the swelling intact.  That's how allergic I am. 

Finally I couldn't take it any more. 

So with my English-Japanese dictionary and the anger of a thousand suns from being sick and itchy, I descended upon the pharmacy.  First, I apologized for my inadequte language skills and showed the employee assisting me the giant mosquito welts on my legs and said "itchy".  She nodded.  Good.  We had a common ground.  In the most broken Japanese imaginable, I managed to ask for the "number 1 cheapest" and "number one strongest" antihistimine cream. We narrowed it down to some weird liquid that looked messy and a pen that looked like it had more active ingredient - I got the pen.  598 yen.  Then, with a patient pharmacist assistant at my side, I looked up the word for "insect-repellent" and she found me an areasol type can that had little dead cartoon mosquitos on it.  What a coincidence; I am particularly fond of dead mosquitos.  Perfect.  Another 600 yen.  Not complete relief, but much improved!

Then the cold - er, uh, Plague - medicine.  Having purchased about 3 different kinds within the past week, and not really knowing what the hell any of them are other than that the boxes have pictures of people with bullseyes on their forehead, nose, and throat, I found my ability to decipher the words for what I needed insufficient.  Lo and behold, I located some Vicks medicated throat drops - something familiar!  Good enough.  Combined with the decongestant I found yesterday, I found that I could now regain status as a mostly fully functional human being.  Except now I'm spacey as hell.  But that's a price I'm willing to pay...because NOW I CAN BREATHE!! 

DING!  Japanese proficiency Level up!  I can now find medications I need in a pharmacy.  Yeay mother necessity!

Daily Musings of a Foreigner

Visiting a new country is fascinating, thrilling, and oftentimes confusing.  Living there doubly so!  There are so many tiny "givens" that one would never take notice of at home, at least, never with any interest.  But when you find yourself part of a new equation with completely different values, suddenly the details become brilliantly poignant!  For example:

1.  You know the little convenience store sammiches...the ones you're always afraid to eat?  Not quite sure how long they've been there or what's in them? Not only are they good here, they come with the crusts cut off for you already
2. The prongs of wall plugs on electric devices actually fold compactly back into the adapter
3.  Sliding glass windows and doors slide both ways, from both sides!
4.  Free hand sanitizer and tissues are offered everywhere
5. Anyone and everyone are willing to help you lift heavy things, find a place, or read something for you.  Even the very rare racist ones...they'll still help if you ask.
6. Dollar stores (100円）are AWESOME.  You can buy things in a dollar store here that you wouldn't believe!  Slippers, kitchen and bathroom supplies, air freshener, shelving, towels...
7. When an elevator door or train door opens, everyone outside gets completely and neatly out of the way to let the people inside out.  It's like a choreographed scene from a movie...it's hard to believe it until you see it, but it's beautiful!
8. Public transportation is efficient and ON TIME.  ALWAYS.  To the minute.  (Excluding accidents and earthquakes, of course.)  If your train is late, you get a "victimization certificate" that is basically a doctor's note for being late to wherever you're headed and it's a legitimate excuse!
9. Vending machines accept 1万円 bills ($100) and give change.  So do convenience stores, fast food restaurants, and every retail store.

That's it for now.  Stay tuned for more daily musings on life in Japan.  And now, lunch time!

I'm a retard and I accidentally deleted most of the comments 00.oo

Got a couple messages about this...Please don't stop commenting!!

New Digs

Moving day!!  Gone is the Sangubashi apartment, hello 30000円!  Met the roommate; nice British guy teaching English.  The other roommate, girl from Hong Kong, was moving out today so it's down to 2 until next week(?) 

Balcony, check.  Window seat, check.  Park view, check.  Neighborhood kitty, check.  Pics:

Check.

"river" "bbq"

Sunday was awesome.  Somehow with minimal planning we managed to scrounge together enough stuff for a barbeque.  A bunch of people met up at the Fukasomethingshinchi Eki and we headed down to a riverbed where a whole bunch of JP were grilling and hanging out.  One guy brought the grill (bought it this morning, in fact), I brought plates, bread, and forks, another person brought cups and paper towels, donuts, more bread, chips, etc...it was quite impressive really.  And so we spent an afternoon huddled around a 300yen grill (~$3) trying to get the damn thing to light, then finally having SUCCESS we cooked our trophies.  Meanwhile, the JP around us are doing what they do best - drinking heavily.  It was so windy and sprinkly out that I had to take a picture when I saw this:

um...that's weird...the photos aren't on my camera.  well, picture a drunk japanese dude stripped down to his boxers, diving into the icy river.  And then there was the guy that couldn't even stand up...fell asleep half standing and ended up lying in the rocks, piss-pantsed.  Drunks aside, it was so nice being outside with interesting people.  I hope we do more outdoorsy stuff. 

Now, I go to study and figure out what is wrong with my camera. :/ 

Goddamnit Wells Fargo

This is the third time Wells Fargo has just randomly decided to shut off my cards.  I appreciate that they're trying to prevent fraud - honestly I'd rather have them err on the side of conservativism - but come on.  I notified them I'd be in Tokyo for a minimum of 6 months before I left, and lo and behold, they turned them off as soon as I arrived in Japan.  That was fun.  But I forgave them because it was better than had it actually been fraud and they hadn't shut it down.  Good thing I had the forethought to cash out in yen enough for the first few days. 
Then they shut my cards off again at the end of March, which was weird, because there weren't any big redflag purchases that preceded it...
and just today they shut them off again.  I'm starting to think it's a cyclical thing.  Like every 29th, they just start turning off cards at random or something. 
Goddamnit.  I need to eat, people.  *wields angry fist of impotent indignation*

Don't read this if you don't like gore. I mean it. You've been warned.

Tokyo-Yokohama is THE world's most populated city at 35,000,000 people.  Though over 90% of its population consider themselves financially middle class,  Japanese average low levels of life satisfaction and happiness when compared to most other highly developed societies [wikipedia].  They say there's a suicide every 15 minutes.     

So...stop reading if this is depressing you.  No, seriously.  Stop.

Still reading?

...

Ok...


I warned you.


...


Walking through Shinjuku, mildly lost while trying to find the damn apartment office to pay my rent in another city, I was beating myself up for not having thought this through earlier.  I mean, who the hell doesn't do online payments these days?  I knew I should have printed that map.  I get to this fairly large intersection on my way back to the station to start over, since this route turned out to be a dead end (i.e., I ended up in Shibuya).  I was ruminating on unpaid rents and someone earlier who had called me a "stupid foreinger" in Japanese, thinking I wouldn't know what they were saying (I did), I was just standing there, waiting for the light to change, feeling sorry for myself. 

There was a blur of movement.  And a thwack-thud.  Think wood-framed leather couch meets concrete at 40+ mph.  It was really loud.  I turned to look, wondering what kind of asshole throws furniture out the window on a busy street in the middle of the day...they could have hit someone -

oh.

shit.

It wasn't furniture.

It was a suicide jumper.  Just like that.  Thwack, and it was over.  No warning, no suspenseful buildup, no negotiators or crowds.  Just a rock solid instant and he...wasn't.  He still had his glasses on.  Lying there, a little distorted, doing some kind of fatal yoga move.  A couple people came out of the shops lining the fateful sidewalk, looking, standing back a little.  A passerby in a nice grey business suit approached hesitantly, and kinda stonefaced-like, waved his hand in front of the guy's face.  It was more like the suit thought it was what he was supposed to do, not like he thought it would make a difference.  Someone jogged down the street to the koban (police kiosk) to notify the authorities.  Within a few minutes, a policeman arrived.  The suit waved.  He didn't even approach the scene by more than 15 ft., and radioed back.   No American-style shock, no freak out, no noise.  Just calm, though serious, faces.  It was like the whole thing had been rehearsed.  And then I realized that it probably had.  With a suicide every 15 minutes, these people had probably seen it before.  I started to wonder who he was - not his name or anything superficial like that - but who he was as a person.  What circumstances in life had led him here, to this 5th story ledge, at this moment, for this purpose?  Was he a businessman or a janitor.  What millions of memories and experiences were now lost forever in the now-uninhabitted body.  Had he played a significant role in other people's lives.  What about the girl he might have fallen in childhood-love with, so many years ago.  What if in that moment, he had known that this is how it was all going to end?  Would he have even tried to go on to do whatever it was that he had been doing for the last 40+ years?  Did he bring his ID with him?  How would they know who if anyone to tell?  Would he be missed?  Or was his situation so dire that this was the "honorable" route?

Anywho, that's how it went down. 

One every 15 minutes. 

Do me a favor tonight and tell your family members that you love them.  You never really know what they're going through.

Mobiru!!

Got my mobile phone a few days ago!  They were out of green so I got peepee yellow.  The interesting thing about it though is that I don't have any minutes, but I have unlimited email/txt!  Cell phones are assigned both a phone number and a separate, unique email address.  I think they tried to do it in the States, too, but it never caught on. 

Anywho, on the demo model was this itty bitty little sticker that looked like uh...a drop of water, maybe?  So I'm thinking, hhmm, are they trying to say that this phone is waterproof?  Yeah, right!!  Waterproof phone, psshhhht.  They'll say anything to sell a product. 

A day later I dropped my phone in the toilet. We're talking full submersion here, people. 

Phone: SPLOOOOSH.

Me: Uh oh.  What did I just drop in the -
       Oh Goddamnitalltohell. 
       *Pull phone out of toilet. Stand there looking stupid.*
       *30 seconds later, regain sentience and sterilize handset.* 
       Damnit, damnit, damnit.  I haven't even had the damn thing 24 hours yet.  I wonder if that warrantee covers this...
       *Flip open to survey the damage.*

Phone: *Pretends it wasn't just dropped in the toilet.  Functions normally.*

Me: What the...holy shit!

True story.  It's ACTUALLY WATERPROOF!  If only it wasn't peepee yellow, I think I would have the most awesome phone ever.  EEEVVVVEEEERRRRRR.

That is all.

Last week was a whirlwind!

Things I've learned in the last week:

1. Japanese college is easier than American college, but my Japanese sucks.
2. You can be cold and sweating at the same time.  WTF?
3. Clothes dryers do not work.  Ever. 
4. Shoving on the train is not considered rude, it's expected.
5. Young people stare at foreigners.
6. Old people really stare at foreigners.
7. Everyone assumes that if you're not Japanese, you speak English.
8. People dress way better / more fun / sillier here. 
9. Fried chicken is cheaper than vegitables.
10. If you drop money, people will give it back to you.

College courses here are 1.5 hours long each.  Back to back, that's 6 hours of class on Monday.  Three of them are Japanese language and culture classes, so I'm getting the full immersion.  I can almost form sentences in a reasonable amount of time.  It helps that in Japanese, a conjugated verb is a complete sentence on its own!

I'm starting to get the n00b headache.  These last few days I swear steam has been rising from my head.  And not just because it's ballshrivelling cold in the mornings.  But this is good - it means that the mousewheel is still turning - right?

And off I go to study!  I am so far behind in Japanese...べんきょうしますよ！

Missing the Weens

Yesterday's yesterday was really hard.  I started missing the weens so much because I started feeling guilty for leaving them behind.  And then I started thinking what a horrible dog owner I am, because a year is a significant portion of a dog's life!  It was torturing me that they likely don't understand why I'm not there, just that I haven't come home for a while, and the guys aren't really dog people...am I traumatising my puppies?!

And then I saw this in a store front.  The Ten Commandments of Dog Ownership:

And I started crying.  Now, I don't really cry about anything, so it's kinda a big deal.  Poor, poor weens.  Speaking of weens, they're really popular here!  Here you go: some nice hairy Japanese weiners!

 

Hahaha I crack me up.

Japanish

So I signed up for a Spanish class - in Japanese.  I can't wait!  It sounds impossibly awesome!

Apparently deoderant is a rare commodity here in Japan.  It's not even 70 degrees out, and ... well ... you can tell people don't wear it.  And the deoderant they do have SUCKS.  I bought some here and it doesn't work for shit!!  I swear I take a shower and about 2 hours later I need another one.  Jebus.  I'm like that stinky foriegn kid that no one talks to, only everyone else stinks too and people talk to me...so nevermind.

Did you know that your diet changes your smell?  You know, your eu de you.  It seems almost everything here has curry seasoning in it (all the meat, the ramen, etc.) whether you taste it or not.  And I've noticed that from the change in diet, my skin has started to smell different.  It's kinda curry-er-y.  With just a touch of stank.  I wonder if my dogs would recognize me!  I don't!

Also, I've lost like 5lbs. since arriving!!  Transportation relies heavily on walking from (train) station to station, and quickly.  I have had more interval training running up stairs to catch trains than I think I've ever had the gumption to do in a gym!   I have been wearing my Sketcher ShapeUps too, so my calves are burning by the end of the day.  It's AWESOME.  Pretty soon I'll have super butt.  Maybe I'll wear an "SB" cape.  Hah!  As if I don't get stared at enough!!

My video of the 7.4 Aftershock (~3 in Tokyo)

No camera tricks...the camera is actually resting on the table until I turn it around at about 1 minute.  At which point you can stop watching, because that was the tail end of the aftershock.  The noise you hear is the building rumbling.  Whoohoo!!

Everyone's fine here.  It was pretty small, so don't worry.  I was kinda hoping to catch another one on film but that was it for the night.  I really need to keep my camera attached to my forehead or something...would that be weird?  Mebbe I should invest in those Akihabara spy sunglasses...

Travel

Hachiko - the infamous canine companion that waited for his master at the train station for 9+ years - has a statue dedicated to him at the Shibuya JR station.  He's so well loved by the Japanese people that they have traced his decendents down to his 29th (?) great grand-pup who currently resides in Tokyo.  The Hachiko statue is also a famous meeting place for friends, though it gets so congested at times that you almost have to specify which part of Hachiko you're at, e.g., his butt, his left paw, etc. 

This was a random temple in Shunjuku.  They're everywhere, nestled amidst the skyscrapers.  You wouldn't know it though by looking at the picture.  Those are cherry trees blooming. :D

Well damn, I had all these awesome pics to upload but the damn server is having problems now.  I'll have to continue later.  Guess that's it for now!

Peach Flavored Toothpaste. Discuss.

All of the foods you are about to see are real.  And delicious!  I have discovered whitening PEACH flavored toothpaste!!  I want to eat it.

This is Shaka Shaka Chicken and holy crap is it cracktastic.  It comes with your choice of seasoning, you pour it in the bag, and you shaka shaka the chicken.  The black pepper is my favorite!  And it's only 100 yen - just over a dollar!!

 Melon soda for all you diehard fans out there.

 This is a HOT DOG VENDING MACHINE!  It also does chicken nuggets, fries, fried onigiri...and it heats it up for you!!  I had to take a picture because not only was I certain that you wouldn't believe that it exists, I didn't believe it either.

 Uh huh huh.

 BLACK THE HARD coffee.  I didn't actually try this. But it deserved a picture anyway.  Also comes out of the machine hot.

 School cafe lunch for 280yen (about USD $3).  That's sliced beef roast in there!  SSOOOOOO good.

 After eating all that crap, I felt that my mouth needed some freshening up.  At the combini I found what I was hoping was speariment, but ended up lime-menthol flavored gum that was surprizingly tasty!

The food here is so good, albeit confusing at times...next time I'll sneak a picture at the supa (supermarket) (they don't like that) and show you all uncut fish and unidentifiable veggies!  I'd have a lot more interesting pictures if it wasn't for the "no pictures in the store" policy they seem to have just about everywhere.  But I'm working on it!

WHY DON'T WE HAVE CAT CAFES?!

This was awesome.  Just...awesome.  980yen for an hour of kitty cats EVERYWHERE!!  I'm so adding this to the Why Didn't I Think of That file!  A lot of pics...

Jump, kitty, jump!!

 Chillaxing.

 Cat whisperer.

 Cat in a box.

 Kawaii!!

 The cashier will see you now.

 Tastes like...?

 All tuckered out.

 BINK?!!!

 OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FACE?

 Munchkin kitty!!

 Feeding the kitties!

 And then, we won these at the arcade!

 This one's for you, baby!!